Day 4 under weather. Day 2 snowed in.

(sorry video quality on my computer much better, kinda sad here)

Waking up to this mid day somehow made everything a little bit more bearable. When the snow is this light and feathery it reminds me of home where it is dry and the snow always looks like a dusting of powered sugar. While I watched it dance from bed, I decided it reminded me of apple blossoms falling in the springtime. Don't you think?

Snow is so quiet.

It doesn't make a sound, unlike rain which makes its presence known in a big way. I woke up this morning still feverish (I am under the weather) expecting the patter of rain and opened my eyes, put on my glasses, and looked out my window to see the silent flakes collecting outside my window. Funny, I had a feeling the snow was going to be there before I looked. It made me think about life and what in it is like rain or like snow. What comes pounding in and is obvious and what silently blankets you when you are sleeping? Could also be the fever talking but I thought there was much to be learned from that. And now I'm signing off to watch more snow come down and drink away my fever with some tea.

I Love New York.

I spent today with the city. In fact you could say the entirety of lower Manhattan was my valentine. I gave it some love, with a smile or two at strangers, and it gave me some back. There is love everywhere in the city if you look especially today, it's unavoidable. In fact, in Union Square a nice group of sign toting people were actually giving away hugs for free. I got two. No strings attached. My love affair with the city continued down 14th street. Outside of "Artichoke Pizza" there were couples eating hot pizza and standing in the cold February chill, huddling to stay warm. I sat outside the dog park in Tompkins Square, my face in the sunshine and my boots resting on a snow mound from last week's blizzard. I watched the dogs run around and play with their doting owners. I walked through the farmer's market in search of steak and looked at all the winter potatoes,carrots and onions piled high, their colors mingling. I sat on a bench sipping a cup of hot cider and watched odd and cute couples, parents and kids, and aware singles walk by. And as I stared up at the fast moving clouds behind the bare winter tree tops and watched the fading sunlight I did not feel the day's chill, I in fact felt very warm indeed.

And below is a valentine for my family and friends...I love all of you. Happy Valentine's!

My Self-Portrait is

According to my roommate, "long pause... It is very Dickensian." According to a classmate, it is very "Norman Rockwell." I am not sure what it is but I sure did learn a lot staring at myself for a few days and trying to see myself. I see here and there where it does not resemble me, but when I stare at it, I still get the feeling that it is me staring back. I listened to the entire symphonies of Gustav Mahler, all nine of them, while painting it. Sometimes I was actually painting, sometimes I was wiping out everything I had just spent a good time painting, and sometimes I was just staring back at myself and listening to Mahler. Mahler holds a private meaning for me. But I think in this process, of forcing myself to listen again to his music, it slowly became simply music again; powerful, strange, and beautiful.

(me with my self-portrait, a bit redundant I know, took this for my mom!)

(our class paintings of the models, mine is a profile of Demetri, below the lovely painting of a woman reading)

Our show was a success. I know this by the crowd of people, thick enough that it was difficult to part one's way through and actually see the art. Also, the nice comments I received, from my peers and strangers alike, on my "honorable mention," blue stickered self-portrait. So many of the paintings were beautifully executed and all were so very different. I think one of the most interesting things about a class show is that everyone can have the same model but no one will have the same work. And Lastly I know it was a success because the wine was gone in five minutes.

Other People's Self-portraits. What can we learn from them?

Lucian Freud, Reflection (self portrait), 1985, 22X20, oil on canvas.

I've been painting a self-portrait. I take a night painting class at the Art Student's League and we are having a class show next week. I am supposed to have my self-portrait done by Thursday. With only a little window of daylight per day this time of year and me choosing to use it by standing by the window in my "studio" (a little alcove in the front room of my Brooklyn apartment), I find the days ticking by and myself painting, rubbing out, and repainting the same thing, my eyes. The sun has set and I need some inspiration if i am going to get up earlier tomorrow and drink more coffee and get this done and learn something from doing so by Thursday, so I turn to some other artists' self-portraits to see what they saw in themselves. Their self-portraits are as different as they are or were. What do you see in yourself and have you looked deep enough lately?

John Singer Sargent, Self-portrait, 1892, oil on canvas.

Kathe Kollwitz, Self Portrait, 1898, color lithograph.

Mary Beth McKenzie, self-portrait (front window), collection New York Historical Society, 46 x 30, oil.

Silvermine painting weekend.

Mary Beth McKenzie painting for us.

A new year means... time for a road trip! Drove to New Canaan, CT last Wednesday in my "Spy car" (Zip car) listening to Iron and Wine and sipping caffeine. Watched painting demos and painted for three days. Walked around the frozen, back in time, landscape of white houses and icy rivers. Talked about art and life with women wiser than I, over warming tea, sitting in the old parlor into the wee hours and slept with old portrait eyes watching over me at a lovely, quaint and creepy old Inn. Drove on from there to New Haven. Walked around the ghost town that Yale becomes when students are not yet back from holiday. Marked my journey with footprints in the snow covered quad and then warmed up in the Yale Center for British Art looking at some finely dressed British ladies, rolling hill landscapes and seaside views cracking in their old details. Stared at John Constable's cloud studies that covered a wall and thought about the big world. "I have done a good deal of skying- I am determined to conquer all difficulties and that most arduous one among the rest...The sky is the source of light in nature- and governs everything" John Constable to John Fisher. I Feel inspired from the journey and ready to use the new knowledge I have gained. p.s. please excuse the photo quality I forgot my camera and bought a disposable for the first time in years.

Calder like sculptures and the yummy place we ate lunch across the street everyday.

Outside the Silvermine Guild Arts Center...

Mary Beth's monotype plate and our view from the studio.

Two hundred year old inn and its surroundings...

New year. Old holiday cards.

(front)

"Let it snow."

(front)

(back)

"Happy holidays."

(front)

"Peace on Earth"

(front)

"Cheers."

I procrastinate. I never posted the rest of my holiday cards in 2009 so I will now. My fancy printer broke and so I outsourced my cards this year and in doing so realized how expensive it is and learned a great deal about what to ask for. Do not assume paper the printer picks will be fit to fold for cards. Ask to see the paper and test fold it to see if it cracks! My dear old friend was my first official costumer and bought a bunch of my holiday cards which I bundled up and took home to Colorado with me. And because of the printer mishap she will be using them next year. Happy times in Colorado with family and snow. We even attempted to ski after many years of absence from the slopes. we made it down the run all bones in tact and we patted ourselves on the back and wiggled our toes out of our ski boots to see if they still worked. And on the eve of 2010 I found myself toasting to the new year, glad to have made it through the last year in one piece (it was a hard one for me) and looking forward to the endless possibilities of the next decade.

(back) (front)

"Deck the halls."